I'm kind of doing this blog partly as a way to keep in touch with family and friends and let them know what we're up to these days, as well as keeping a journal of sorts so I have something to look back to and remember this blur. So, to keep along with the journal side of things, I wanted to post a quick note that I can look back to as a reference to a time when I felt prompted and amazed by the Lord's planning and timing in our lives. I remember sitting through General Conference and thinking how strange it was (and sad) that so many people talked about losing small children and how they coped or applied the principles of the Atonement in their lives and gained stronger testimonies of the Plan of Salvation. Now, as I look at the tragic events of the school shooting this week in Connecticut, I'm truly awestruck at the inspired messages from General Conference that came prior and discussed these very topics and how the Lord can help our families through what seem to be such unbearable times. Here's what I just posted on Facebook after reading some of the Conference Ensign tonight with Kyle:
Wow, just read this talk with Kyle and I remembered how there were like 4 talks in the last General Conference session that talked about losing children. It's really amazing to see the inspiration ahead of time with respect to the loss of
Wow, just read this talk with Kyle and I remembered how there were like 4 talks in the last General Conference session that talked about losing children. It's really amazing to see the inspiration ahead of time with respect to the loss of
so many little ones this week in Connecticut. For my non-Mormon friends, General Conference is a church meeting that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has twice a year where a living prophet and other Church leaders speak to members around the world. I included the parts that really stuck out to me below from Elder Shane Bowen's talk this past October where he is talking about how hard it was to lose his little son at such a young age.
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/because-i-live-ye-shall-live-also?lang=eng&query=m+%28name%3A%22Shayne+M.+Bowen%22%29
At that moment it felt as if our world had come to an end. It is impossible to describe the mixture of feelings that I had at that point in my life. Most of the time I felt as if I were in a bad dream and that I would soon wake up and this terrible nightmare would be over. For many nights I didn’t sleep. I often wandered in the night from one room to the other, making sure that our other children were all safe. Feelings of guilt racked my soul. I was his father; I should have done more to protect him. If only I would have done this or that. Sometimes even today, 22 years later, those feelings begin to creep into my heart. I soon began to feel anger. “This isn’t fair! How could God do this to me? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” I even felt myself get angry with people who were just trying to comfort us. I remember friends saying, “I know how you feel.” I would think to myself, “You have no idea how I feel. Just leave me alone.” As I felt the guilt, anger, and self-pity trying to consume me, I prayed that my heart could change. Through very personal sacred experiences, the Lord gave me a new heart, and even though it was still lonely and painful, my whole outlook changed.
My life started to change, and I was able to look forward with hope, rather than look backward with despair. I testify that this life is not the end. The spirit world is real. The teachings of the prophets regarding life after death are true. This life is but a transitory step forward on our journey back to our Heavenly Father. The same feelings of loyalty, love, and family unity don’t end as our loved ones pass to the other side; instead, those feelings are intensified.
Sometimes people will ask, “How long did it take you to get over it?” The truth is, you will never completely get over it until you are together once again with your departed loved ones. I will never have a fulness of joy until we are reunited. But in the meantime, as the Savior taught, we can continue with good cheer. I have learned that the bitter, almost unbearable pain can become sweet as you turn to your Father in Heaven and plead for His comfort that comes through His plan; His Son, Jesus Christ; and His Comforter, who is the Holy Ghost. What a glorious blessing this is in our lives. Wouldn’t it be tragic if we didn’t feel great sorrow when we lose a child? How grateful I am to my Father in Heaven that He allows us to love deeply and love eternally. How grateful I am for eternal families. How grateful I am that He has revealed once again through His living prophets the glorious plan of redemption.
Remember as you attended the funeral of your loved one the feelings in your heart as you drove away from the cemetery and looked back to see that solitary casket—wondering if your heart would break. I testify that because of Him, even our Savior, Jesus Christ, those feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair will one day be swallowed up in a fulness of joy. I testify that we can depend on Him and when He said: “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you… because I live, ye shall live also” (John 14:18–19).
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/because-i-live-ye-shall-live-also?lang=eng&query=m+%28name%3A%22Shayne+M.+Bowen%22%29
At that moment it felt as if our world had come to an end. It is impossible to describe the mixture of feelings that I had at that point in my life. Most of the time I felt as if I were in a bad dream and that I would soon wake up and this terrible nightmare would be over. For many nights I didn’t sleep. I often wandered in the night from one room to the other, making sure that our other children were all safe. Feelings of guilt racked my soul. I was his father; I should have done more to protect him. If only I would have done this or that. Sometimes even today, 22 years later, those feelings begin to creep into my heart. I soon began to feel anger. “This isn’t fair! How could God do this to me? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” I even felt myself get angry with people who were just trying to comfort us. I remember friends saying, “I know how you feel.” I would think to myself, “You have no idea how I feel. Just leave me alone.” As I felt the guilt, anger, and self-pity trying to consume me, I prayed that my heart could change. Through very personal sacred experiences, the Lord gave me a new heart, and even though it was still lonely and painful, my whole outlook changed.
My life started to change, and I was able to look forward with hope, rather than look backward with despair. I testify that this life is not the end. The spirit world is real. The teachings of the prophets regarding life after death are true. This life is but a transitory step forward on our journey back to our Heavenly Father. The same feelings of loyalty, love, and family unity don’t end as our loved ones pass to the other side; instead, those feelings are intensified.
Sometimes people will ask, “How long did it take you to get over it?” The truth is, you will never completely get over it until you are together once again with your departed loved ones. I will never have a fulness of joy until we are reunited. But in the meantime, as the Savior taught, we can continue with good cheer. I have learned that the bitter, almost unbearable pain can become sweet as you turn to your Father in Heaven and plead for His comfort that comes through His plan; His Son, Jesus Christ; and His Comforter, who is the Holy Ghost. What a glorious blessing this is in our lives. Wouldn’t it be tragic if we didn’t feel great sorrow when we lose a child? How grateful I am to my Father in Heaven that He allows us to love deeply and love eternally. How grateful I am for eternal families. How grateful I am that He has revealed once again through His living prophets the glorious plan of redemption.
Remember as you attended the funeral of your loved one the feelings in your heart as you drove away from the cemetery and looked back to see that solitary casket—wondering if your heart would break. I testify that because of Him, even our Savior, Jesus Christ, those feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair will one day be swallowed up in a fulness of joy. I testify that we can depend on Him and when He said: “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you… because I live, ye shall live also” (John 14:18–19).
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