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Showing posts from December, 2014


Links to: Funeral Program Obituary My talk at the funeral Recording of the funeral His last voicemail to me on August 2 I don’t even know where to begin.  I miss Ben so much more than I could ever write down or type into a computer.  I’ve tried to take notes on things that have happened and how I’ve felt through all of this, and I want to try and capture some of that, although I’m not sure why.  Partly because it helps me to remember some of those impressions, partly because I want to have all of this—photos, memories, etc.—in one place, and partly because I hope that it might be useful to someone else in a time of need.  I’m really not sure.  I was amazed to hear from so many people who have been through similar situations, and I feel so incredibly sad that they know how I feel.  I would never wish for anyone else to understand how I feel right now—to experience this pain and heartache. To start, I will try and summarize the experience.  Kyle and I had bee

December 2014 - Christmas with Brendan, Whitney, and Granny

The kids absolutely loved helping us set up all of the Christmas decorations and putting the ornaments on the tree.  We played Christmas music and wore Santa hats and they laughed and sang along.  Kyle (who continues to amaze me with his random and awesome skill set) even made a homemade wreath from the extra branches off our tree.  For at least a week Alexa would pretend it was Christmas morning every day when I got home from work and have presents for me that she had wrapped under the tree, typically some of her toys in a little box or wrapped in a t-shirt. These pictures don't really fit in anywhere, but I have to include Tyler, the gangster thug, wearing my Thrive Life hat because he is obsessed with it right now and wants to wear it all the time.  He said his first full sentence this month: "Can I have some cereal, please?"  He is growing up so fast! We celebrated our first Christmas on December 12 with the local Swingle clan.  Alexa was so excited t